I'm not too sure how to tackle the infamous "first post". I guess it would be a lie to say that this is my first blog (as I have posted a thing or two up on my "facebook notes"), but now I feel like I have a home and a space for me to capture my journey over the next 18 months and beyond!
Today is my 22nd birthday... now what.Now that 21 is gone, it feels like the next "cool" birthday is 50, and I'm not sure that I'd even define that as "cool". That being said, much like any birthday, I don't feel older, wiser, more mature than I did at any of the previous ones. I just have an inescapable label that's edging me closer towards responsibility. It's not that I'm afraid of responsibility (in fact I thrive in a pressured environment), it's just that my youth has been so positive and I want to make sure that the passion I have for life continues on into this "young adult" phase of my life.
When creating this blogspot.com account, I had to give my blog a title. It seemed like a pretty big decision upfront to categorize the content of this blog long before I've started to get into the thick of my writing. It didn't take that long to come up with the "not the destination..." theme. This effectively illustrates my belief (which is not new to me, yet I seem to have a deeper understanding and appreciation of the fact) that life is the journey and not where you end up. As I prepare to head off on exchange to the National University of Singapore on July 28th, the first leg of an 13 month world tour, a sense of adventure is building inside of me that I can't wait to unleash. The opportunity to dive into completely different cultures and throw myself into environments where I'm with nothing familiar just smacks a huge smile on my face.
Side note...
I was grabbing some lunch at the Student Union Building and bumped into a friend who I hadn't caught up with in a while, Sam Latif. Sam is one of those friends who although I don't spend much time with, I find myself connecting with very easily and getting lost in some great conversations. He was telling me about how the last two months have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for him and how he's happy to be coming out of it "not with a new personality, but with values and priorities in check". We discussed at length how excited we both were about exchange and the upcoming year.
I asked Sam if there was anything he could add to his life that would make him happier. With a bit of hmmming and hahhhing, he spoke at length about 2 big concepts:
- continual self-improvement
- really connecting with that special someone.
I discussed with Sam that to me, happiness is all about managing expectations. For someone as ambitious as myself, this is a difficult task but appears to be the only way to bring true, lifelong happiness. Rather than looking for the perfect career - I'm going to set off down a career path that is challenging and fun, not perfect. Rather than looking for the perfect woman, I will one day marry a woman who I find attractive, makes me laugh and understands me emotionally. The pursuit of the fairy tale ending with the perfect wife and job doesn't exist. I'm not saying this to ruin anyone's hopes of true love or landing that dream job, but to simply put in perspective that what stories and movies portray as love, or what all companies sell as the best work environment, leaves out the reality of the hard work involved to make the relationship/career a success.
I believe the hard work invested in a relationship shouldn't be looked down upon, but rather celebrated. Humans are challenging to live with for a lifetime, and when two people are able to work hard enough to support each other through thick and thin, it speaks volumes about their characters as individuals as much as it does of them as a couple. If we're able to lower our expectations and appreciate the fact that every career has it's bad days/weeks, everybody has their flaws - we will be actively setting ourselves up to be happier. Of course, this is easier said than done as we're all fighting an uphill battle against what we've been raised to believe to be true. Although the fight is long and hard, I bet the rewards of happiness are well worth the efforts to get there.
Some of your are probably reflecting on the fact that you were always told to "Do our best, and try our hardest?" and that what I'm saying falls in conflict with those ideals. I'm not saying that you should work any less (or more) on your relationships or career, but rather appreciate that although the grass may be greener on the other side you're sill going to have to mow the lawn and trim the edges.
I've got an assignment to wrap up before I head off to the PIT tonight to celebrate my "I'm getting really old Day". Thanks for reading and please post your thoughts.
Love,
- Conor
